Friday, November 7, 2008
Being in Oregon is an exciting change for me. It's really enabled me to look into new dimensions of myself as far as how I interact with the world around me, regardless of my environment--but I haven't been doing much. I am very happy, but my writer's blog has been hitting me hard. If you ever look at my blog, you're able to tell that I just haven't been able to write. At first I was just busy with my new relationship (I am still very happy) and now I am just feeling plain uninspired. That uninspired-ness is making me feel uninspiring, which is much more of a problem to me. At least, it makes me feel a lot worse about myself. I like the image of myself I project out to be (like it is within) busy yet strong, dedicated yet casual. I want to be jovial, but I also want to be intelligent and serious.
Maybe I am being altogether too hard on myself, but honestly I feel as if it is the other way around. I told myself what I would do; you can read what I wrote a blog ago. I just haven't done it. This is my message to myself to fix that. To make myself work harder for the things I want to achieve, so I can live the life I've always wanted to live--now is the time for that. And only I can make that happen.