Friday, November 7, 2008

A Little Note, Mostly to Myself.

Being in Oregon is an exciting change for me.  It's really enabled me to look into new dimensions of myself as far as how I interact with the world around me, regardless of my environment--but I haven't been doing much.  I am very happy, but my writer's blog has been hitting me hard.  If you ever look at my blog, you're able to tell that I just haven't been able to write.  At first I was just busy with my new relationship (I am still very happy) and now I am just feeling plain uninspired.  That uninspired-ness is making me feel uninspiring, which is much more of a problem to me.  At least, it makes me feel a lot worse about myself.  I like the image of myself I project out to be (like it is within) busy yet strong, dedicated yet casual.  I want to be jovial, but I also want to be intelligent and serious.
Maybe I am being altogether too hard on myself, but honestly I feel as if it is the other way around.  I told myself what I would do; you can read what I wrote a blog ago.  I just haven't done it.  This is my message to myself to fix that.  To make myself work harder for the things I want to achieve, so I can live the life I've always wanted to live--now is the time for that.  And only I can make that happen.